Since 2021, Ana Fidalgo has been my psychotherapist. Although I no longer have regular sessions, she will always be my reference, the one I will turn to when life gets tough or when I feel I need her support to help me work through something in myself and my life. During my therapy journey with Ana, Liliana Marques joined the therapeutic structure, guiding me through EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) sessions — and believe me, it’s almost miraculous!

From Ana, I heard and felt what I so often wished to have heard from friends and family. I will never forget some of her words, as well as her unconditional availability, including those SOS responses at 10 p.m. From Liliana, I received the security and care necessary to embark on a therapy that delves into the depths of our mind, where we control nothing; our brain takes the lead.
I’ve grown so much with both of them. Part of the person I am today is due to the work they did with me. For the way they listened, supported, questioned, and validated, but most of all, for the empathy and compassion they always have shown. As I write this, I get emotional, because I look back and, my God… how much I have grown, how much I have changed! And yes, I am deeply proud of my journey, but I am also immensely proud of the people who accompanied me and contributed to all of this, especially Ana and Liliana.

Was it easy? No. But it was wonderful!

Just as they saw me grow, I want to see them grow too, because my psychologists are, in addition, entrepreneurs. From their dreams was born O Teu Lugar, a project that now stands on its own and continues to grow. This is my tribute to these two great women, sweet, dreamy, and visionary, who have already left a profound mark on my life.

Today, the voices heard are from Ana Fidalgo and Liliana Marques!

NOTE: This interview is divided into three parts: one with Ana Fidalgo, another with Liliana Marques, and finally, one with both of them about O Teu Lugar.

What initially motivated you to choose Psychology as your field of study, and more specifically, to explore the areas of sexuality and couples therapy? Was there any experience or influence that shaped this choice?

Ana Fidalgo: I often say that I didn’t choose psychology at first, it chose me! Convinced to pursue a career in the arts, I kept receiving feedback from friends that this was my true calling – that being empathetic, analytical, and a good listener would make me an excellent psychologist. At the time, I wasn’t too convinced, and I even considered forensic psychology… but clinical psychology (particularly psychodynamic therapy) truly captivated me! From that moment on, my curiosity naturally gravitated towards topics within this privileged profession, one that not only enriches the lives of those who seek our help but also our own, through never-ending growth and expansion of experience.

The fields of couples therapy and sexology had always been lingering in the back of my mind… The first, in part, because conflict (and its resolution) played a fundamental role in my own life story. The second is because intimacy and sex have always been subjects of great curiosity for me. Sexuality is an essential part of the human experience, of our well-being, and of the way we relate to ourselves and others, it extends far beyond sex. It is a complex and deeply emotional territory, intertwined with our culture, moral values, and the experiences that shape who we are. It reflects a delicate balance between vulnerability and discovery and is often a mirror of the relationship we have with our essence. As Esther Perel says, “It’s not something you do; it’s a place you go.”

Sexuality is an essential part of the human experience, of our well-being, and of the way we relate to ourselves and others. It extends far beyond sex. It is a complex and deeply emotional territory, intertwined with our culture, moral values, and the experiences that shape who we are.

In your practice, what are the most frequent issues or challenges you observe in the areas of sexuality and relationships? What do you think this reveals about how our society approaches these topics?

Ana Fidalgo: The challenges I encounter most in therapy are closely tied to our remarkable ability to make “internal agreements” without communicating our feelings to the other person, as well as to the way we tend to view experiences in a polarised manner – “good or bad, black or white – if I think this, then I must be that.” There are also many issues related to gender roles and social expectations, which often lead to immense pressure and emotional exhaustion. In many cases, couples only seek psychological support when they are already drained of creative energy to resolve their issues, almost in “final challenge” mode.

I believe this reflects a long-standing negative cultural legacy when it comes to dealing with our emotions. Prejudices about being weak, overly emotional, or too sensitive discourage people from first exploring what they truly feel and then talking about it, even with the person they wake up next to every day. In this self-censorship, people disconnect more and more from themselves and each other… This also significantly impacts gender roles and expectations, as it can be incredibly challenging for many to reshape their reality into something so different from what they were taught and have lived with for years. So much so that, without realising it, they often deny themselves the chance to experience the wonderful possibilities that could come from that change.

What stigmas or barriers do you feel still exist in our society when it comes to sexuality, both on an individual level and in relationships?

Ana Fidalgo: Sexuality is still heavily marked by silence, taboos, and norms that limit our ability to experience it fully and authentically. On an individual level, many people still feel shame, guilt, or fear of being judged, especially when their sexuality falls outside of what society deems “normal.” In relationships, there are communication barriers, unequal expectations, and often a lack of space for vulnerability. We still live in a context where emotional and sexual needs are frequently repressed or misunderstood, perpetuating frustration and disconnection. This creates a vicious cycle, when someone feels repressed, they lose touch with themselves, and when I don’t understand myself, I also struggle to truly connect with someone else.

In your opinion, what are the biggest steps we still need to take as a society to build a more open and healthy approach to sexuality? Are there any aspects where you see positive change?

Ana Fidalgo: I believe we need to continue creating spaces for dialogue where we can talk about sexuality openly and without judgment. I think sexual and emotional education (regardless of its official name) plays a crucial role in helping people understand that sexuality is not just about the physical, it is also about identity, self-knowledge, respect, intimacy, and consent. I also believe that governments have an important role to play, not only in this but also in addressing the inequalities that still exist.

We need to break the stigma around pleasure, talk about diversity, and recognise that each person’s sexuality is unique, and as long as it does not involve any anti-social behaviour or violation of human rights, it deserves to be lived freely.

As for positive changes, I see a significant rise in initiatives that promote honest conversations about sexual and emotional health, as well as greater inclusion of different identities and orientations. I think it’s crucial that this continues, with people of all ages, from different backgrounds and with different perspectives, because some voices will resonate more with certain people than others. These discussions should be informative, reflective, and non-prescriptive. It’s a slow but meaningful progress, reminding us that, in many ways, we are moving in the right direction!

As a psychologist and a woman, what message would you like to share with other women who, like you, are striving to balance self-acceptance with personal growth?

Ana Fidalgo: First of all, I want to acknowledge that self-acceptance and personal growth are incredibly tough! It hurts, it takes effort, and it doesn’t promise the “happily ever after” that we are often sold. So, my advice would be this – treat yourself with the same tenderness and patience you offer to those you love the most. Recognise that the conditions are not always ideal and that personal growth is neither a straight line nor perfect. The balance between accepting who you are and working towards who you want to be is about listening to what your inner self truly needs.

Allow yourself to be imperfect and celebrate every small step because true growth happens when we learn to embrace all parts of ourselves – the strong, the vulnerable, the hidden, the ones that shine, and the ones still being worked on – throughout life! And please, know that feeling is the best way to truly understand. There are many things we intellectually know but don’t yet feel as truth. Often, this means that something has affected us so deeply that it still triggers the same alarms that were once necessary in the past. You are not alone, we are with you!

The balance between accepting who you are and working towards who you want to be is about listening to what your inner self truly needs. Allow yourself to be imperfect and celebrate every small step because true growth happens when we learn to embrace all parts of ourselves.

Your vision of creating “a place that allows us to be” is truly inspiring. How do you strive, in your daily work, to help people find or build that safe space for themselves and in their relationships?

Ana Fidalgo: The place where we allow ourselves to be begins with acceptance – of who we are, with everything we bring: our pain, dreams, insecurities, and hopes. In my work, I strive to create a safe space where people can explore their emotions without fear of judgment and with the certainty that, on this side, there is someone with a curious and compassionate gaze over everything they bring. I listen attentively, help untangle “internal knots,” and try to guide each person towards building more genuine relationships with themselves and with others.

I believe that by offering acceptance and respect, we help each person discover that they can create that space within themselves – a place where they can be authentic, vulnerable, and still strong.

Your journey in Psychology covers various fields, from children’s emotional education to working with the elderly and human resource management. How have these experiences influenced your current therapeutic approach and the integrative vision you apply?

Liliana Marques: I feel that, in reality, life chose these paths for me. Although clinical practice has always been the guiding line of my dreams and goals, I often say that I don’t believe in alternative paths; only in paths that we need to walk, which represent opportunities for growth and learning, not only as professionals but also as human beings. Working with people at different stages of life and in different contexts has allowed me to develop a broader and more holistic vision of what we are and feel in each of these phases, which is transversal to human experience. At the same time, it has given me a unique and individualized perspective on the impact of each challenge, considering the different dimensions they affect, whether in terms of age or context. Educating for emotions (through emotional recognition and regulation) in childhood is, in my view, a primary intervention and one of the best investments for the future we want for upcoming generations. On the other hand, working with the elderly means remembering that the place we come from is also the place we are going to. The way we care for “our elders” deserves urgent attention and says a lot about us as a society. Even though it was never an area of interest in my training, working with the elderly was, without a doubt, an absolutely transformative experience for me, far beyond what I could have imagined.

Lastly, managing human resources helped me better understand one of the most common issues I hear in therapy today: we cannot forget that we spend about a third (or more) of our day at work, and the way we experience our professional life also impacts various dimensions of our lives (both personal and relational). At that time, I was far from imagining that one day I would have to manage people in my clinic, but everything I learned in that experience has been invaluable for this professional challenge I have taken on.

In reality, each person is the sum of everything they experience throughout the different stages of life, the relationships they build, and the contexts in which they develop. That is why I consider each of these experiences fundamental to who I am today, as a Psychologist and as a person, which is also reflected in the integrative approach that guides my clinical intervention.

In reality, each person is the sum of everything they experience throughout the different stages of life, the relationships they build, and the contexts in which they develop. That is why I consider each of these experiences fundamental to who I am today, as a Psychologist and as a person, which is also reflected in the integrative approach that guides my clinical intervention.

What impact has your training in psychopathology and dynamic psychotherapies had on how you perceive and approach mental health? How does this training help shape the work you do with each person who seeks your help?

Liliana Marques: Although I have an integrative approach that I try to adapt as much as possible to the needs expressed by each patient, my guiding line is always my training in psychopathology and dynamic psychotherapies.

I believe that each person’s mental health and how we develop and relate to others are reflections of everything we have experienced since the moment we were conceived. The most recent studies indicate that about ninety per cent of our psyche and how it functions is unconscious material, meaning that ninety per cent of our lives happen outside our awareness, through unconscious mechanisms. Knowing that only ten per cent is within our conscious level reveals the foundation of what guides my clinical practice: to understand our present, we need to access the origin of each part of who we are.

In my view, the psychodynamic approach best responds to this issue, which affects the various dimensions of our mental health. With the therapeutic relationship as the fundamental pillar of intervention, each person’s story is deconstructed and given new meaning in a safe and welcoming space where they can be themselves. This allows them to recognize their patterns, understand their origins, and, consequently, make meaningful changes in their lives.

In a society driven by immediacy and the rush of everyday life, it is becoming increasingly urgent to look from the inside out—at ourselves and at others. To look less at the screen and more at what surrounds us. To realise that there are no quick, instant solutions that work for everyone: the process of self-discovery is deep and unfolds in its own time for each person.

I often joke that if I had universal quick fixes or the ready-made strategies that I’m so often asked for in the first sessions, I would still be working as a therapist—because it’s my passion—but I’d be doing it from the Maldives, having already made a fortune selling the magic formula for happiness.

Anything lasting takes time to build—the same time we are told we cannot afford to lose, yet time that we can, in fact, gain.

In your opinion, how is mental health still perceived and addressed in our society, and what do you consider the most important steps to promote a true shift in awareness?

Liliana Marques: Although we are beginning to see and feel some changes in how our society addresses mental health issues—especially since the pandemic, which, by challenging so many aspects of our health, made it urgent to rethink mental health as an integral and essential part of our overall well-being—we are still far from where we should be.

First and foremost, we need to understand that mental health is not necessarily the opposite of mental illness. To achieve this, we need clear and accessible information for everyone. The necessity of looking inward and understanding who we are is crucial for any human being who wants to live a meaningful life, and investing in our mental health is essential for that to happen; whether or not there is an associated mental illness.

Additionally, we must stop “ignoring the elephant in the room” and recognize that mental illness should be treated just as automatically as physical illness: when we have symptoms, we seek medical help. The process of looking inward is even more significant when discussing mental illness: knowing how to recognize signs and symptoms and seeking help from a specialized professional is fundamental. Similarly, being able to notice these signs in others can also be critical: sometimes, we struggle to recognize things within ourselves that are easier to see in those around us.

How do you see the therapeutic relationship’s role in constructing new meanings and in patients’ healing processes? Can you share an example of how a patient’s story and emotions can transform in this context?

Liliana Marques: The therapeutic relationship is a space of love, acceptance, and transformation, where the patient and therapist can think together and deconstruct meanings. It is a space of truth, where each person finds their own without the other’s truth being imposed. The closer the patient gets to their truth, the closer they are to their answers and, consequently, to their healing process.

Feeling seen and loved for who they truly are is, in itself, a transformative process for the patient. This alone allows them to access their emotions transparently, connect with their truth, and accept their story as an integral part of who they are. Throughout life, we are shaped by relationships, and while psychological distress often stems from relational wounds, it is also within relationships that healing occurs. In the therapeutic relationship, stories and emotions acquire new meanings; when expressed, verbalized, and truly heard, they are processed and integrated into a new relational experience, paving the way for transformation. The way we experience this relationship and what we receive from it can genuinely change our lives.

Feeling seen and loved for who they truly are is, in itself, a transformative process for the patient. This alone allows them to access their emotions transparently, connect with their truth, and accept their story as an integral part of who they are.

How do you see EMDR therapy in the context of mental health treatment options, especially in comparison with other therapeutic approaches? What do you consider to be unique about this practice?

Liliana Marques: In line with my previous thoughts, I truly believe that each person’s mental health and the way we develop and relate to others is a reflection of everything we have experienced from the moment we are conceived. However, only ten per cent of that information is available, more or less clearly, at our conscious level. The remaining ninety per cent represents unconscious material, which often blocks psychotherapeutic intervention processes; often, we are dealing with traumas that interfere with how we relate to ourselves and others.

It was in this context that I realised EMDR psychotherapy could be an excellent response. Throughout my clinical practice, I realised the need to find a way to intervene in these situations, and in truth, after training and practising EMDR psychotherapy, I understood how broad and adaptable it can be in a person’s life and various situations beyond trauma.

What I consider to be distinguishing (and absolutely transformative) about EMDR psychotherapy is that, although it is a process guided by a properly specialised and certified therapist, it is the patient who leads the process, and their brain that performs “the healing process”. Intervention occurs, therefore, in the patient’s conscious state, but primarily works on unconscious processes. When trauma happens, it becomes blocked in our nervous system, associated with the original image that caused it, along with negative emotions and thoughts (especially about oneself), which influence what we feel and live in the present. Through desensitisation and reprocessing of emotionally traumatic experiences, with the use of bilateral brain stimulation and a focus on the various components of memories, the patient can reprocess the experience more adaptively.

EMDR is still a relatively unknown approach in Portugal. How do you think awareness of it and its effectiveness could be increased, and what do you see as the main challenges to achieving this?

Liliana Marques: Exactly in the same way I believe we could transform the paradigms associated with all mental health issues/interventions: with clear, uncomplicated, and accessible communication for everyone.

In the clinic, for example, many patients are unaware of EMDR psychotherapy or confuse it with hypnosis. They are quite different approaches and interventions. Similarly, patients fear “losing control” or accessing content that is too heavy for them about themselves and/or their history.

It is important to explain exactly what EMDR therapy involves and how the entire intervention process works. That’s why it’s crucial to ensure that the person is with a therapist who is properly specialised and accredited by the regulating bodies of this practice (EMDR Portugal has a directory of all therapists qualified to apply and intervene using EMDR, which is accessible and can be consulted by anyone).

We are the result of the sum of everything we’ve experienced, and that includes emotionally difficult memories (those who think trauma only refers to catastrophes and abuse are mistaken; “smaller” traumas are often just as or even more impactful in our lives!). I often joke and say that EMDR is a kind of magic for those who experience it: most reports are of profound transformation, and, in my perspective, it is differentiated from other types of clinical intervention. It is not about forgetting what happened, but rather about adaptively reprocessing that experience, without the emotional weight associated with the memory at the time it occurred. In this process of “reframing traumatic memories”, they become an integral part of our story, as they should, but no longer condemn or define how we live our lives.

As I’ve mentioned, the need to look inward and understand who we are is absolutely fundamental for any human being who wants to live a meaningful life. In this sense, EMDR psychotherapy can be an important path to take.

How did the idea of creating “O Teu Lugar” come about? Was there a specific moment in your clinical practice that reinforced the need for a space like this?

O Teu Lugar: It all started as a sketch in Ana’s notebook, outlining what it would mean to work in alignment with the values she considered essential in the field of mental health and overall well-being. At a time when she felt the need to do more for the profession, she thought about spreading these values through a project like a podcast. However, a series of negative experiences—feelings of judgement, neglect, and even cruelty from healthcare professionals and clinical directors—both in her practice and in conversations with colleagues, became the driving force behind the idea. Initially hesitant, this led to the realisation that the project needed to be more than a podcast—it needed to be something bigger. When Ana shared this vision with Liliana, O Teu Lugar was born! A fusion of Ana’s foundational values with Liliana’s entrepreneurial spirit, creating something that has now evolved into a dynamic, complex organism far greater than the sum of its parts. More than just the need for a space like this, there was an urgency to take action and create change.

More than just the need for a space like this, there was an urgency to take action and create change.

Your commitment to empathy and adaptability is evident. What message would you like to share with those who are considering therapy but still feel hesitant to take that first step in seeking help?

O Teu Lugar: We want to say that hesitation is completely natural. Seeking help involves vulnerability, and that can feel overwhelming… What’s often hard to see in these moments is that it is also an act of courage and a gesture that goes beyond self-care! We jokingly say that therapy can have serious side effects, such as increased self-esteem, better recognition and regulation of emotions, improved interpersonal relationships, and an enhanced ability to navigate life’s challenges—there’s even a risk of experiencing genuine well-being!

A therapeutic process is not about being “fixed”; rather, it’s about finding a safe space to get to know yourself better, explore your troubles, and discover new ways to live in harmony with yourself. That first step may seem daunting, but it can also be the beginning of a profound and authentic transformation. A good therapist will welcome you exactly as you are, without judgment, respecting your pace and your process.

A therapeutic process is not about being ‘fixed’; rather, it’s about finding a safe space to get to know yourself better, explore your troubles, and discover new ways to live in harmony with yourself.

What do you feel your role as psychologists has brought to the world of entrepreneurship, particularly in leading a project like “O Teu Lugar”?

O Teu Lugar: Being psychologists has taught us to listen intently, respect individuality, value the power of small changes, and step back from a narrow perspective to see the bigger picture. In entrepreneurship, these skills help us build a space that is not just about offering services but about genuinely welcoming and supporting people, both within our team and beyond.

Our sensitivity as psychologists have enabled us to adapt, lead with a balance of empathy and assertiveness, and ensure that human needs remain at the centre of every decision. This often means double or even triple the workload compared to other types of projects, but ultimately, it’s what allows us to take pride in our efforts and feel aligned with ourselves.

What are the biggest challenges you face in balancing clinical responsibilities with running a business? Is there any skill or practice you consider essential for maintaining this balance?

O Teu Lugar: The greatest challenge is, without a doubt, balancing the care we dedicate to our clients, the time required to manage the project and team, and juggling all of this alongside our personal lives. Naturally, clinical work always takes priority, and personal time is often what falls off the list. Each of these dimensions demands emotional energy and constant attention.

Organisation, delegating, trusting, and setting boundaries are essential for maintaining balance. We strive to practise what we encourage in others: self-awareness and self-care. We know that we can only take good care of others if we also take care of ourselves.

How does being psychologists influence your perspective as entrepreneurs, particularly in creating a space that respects individuality, empathy, and diversity?

O Teu Lugar: Being psychologists means that, as entrepreneurs, we approach everything we create with a deeply human perspective. This project was never just about services, it was about creating a place that truly respects those who walk through its doors. This mindset allows us to tailor our approaches to the people who come to “O Teu Lugar”, rather than the other way around.

As psychologists, we understand that each person is unique, and that perspective shapes how we design our practices and relationships. This is especially evident in how we want to reach people because our ethical and professional codes impose certain boundaries on how we can promote and manage relationships with clients. For instance, a more aggressive marketing strategy, common in other business sectors, is simply not an option. Instead, it’s about showing who we are and reaching those who truly need us, rather than “conquering a target audience.”

How has the experience of entrepreneurship changed or enriched the way you see yourselves, both personally and professionally? Are there aspects of psychology and entrepreneurship that you feel are particularly complementary?

O Teu Lugar: Entrepreneurship has given us a heightened sense of purpose and resilience. On a personal level, we’ve learned to embrace the vulnerability of navigating uncharted territory, with all the challenges and achievements that come with it. We never expected to reach this scale (physical space, team growth, or overall operations) so soon!

Professionally, it has allowed us to integrate psychology more broadly, applying our values and knowledge to managing human relationships—not just with clients, but also within our team and community.

Psychology and entrepreneurship can be highly complementary, and we’re still in the process of discovering exactly how! What’s certain is that both require empathy, active listening, adaptability, and a vision that extends beyond the immediate. Both involve connecting with people and finding meaningful solutions tailored to their needs.

What are the future goals for “O Teu Lugar”? Are there any new services or innovative approaches you’d like to implement to continue supporting the mental and emotional well-being of your clients?

O Teu Lugar: Our biggest goal is to continue growing as a space that welcomes individuality and provides the highest level of care. We want to expand our network of like-minded partners and extend our services to include complementary practices, such as self-discovery workshops, support groups, or programmes focused on specific topics like emotional regulation, relationships, or self-care, both in-person and through digital tools that maintain the quality and warmth of our approach.

We also want to explore more ways to make therapy accessible through partnerships (we’ll be announcing our first partnership soon!). Above all, we remain committed to innovation and to creating a space where every person can truly feel that they have found their place.

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